Friday, August 27, 2010

Your Happiness Level impacts your Self Image!!!

Mirror Mirror on the Wall - who's the Fattest of them all?!

Have you ever looked in the mirror and and thought "oh my, I am SO fat - look at my thighs!" And then THAT thought and feeling set your mood for the day! Right?

We can be very cruel to ourselves when we see our reflection in the mirror and we make a judgment on what we see. You know this. But the one thing you don't know is that what you see in the mirror is highly correlated with how happy you truly are when you are looking.


Who knew?

I will speak from experience. One day I looked in the mirror and thought I looked 'heavier' that day and I didn't like what I saw. Then, being a Law of Attraction Happiness Coach, I reflected back to how I was FEELING in that moment. Was I in a good feeling place or was something bothering me that day? When I chose to reflect inward, I realized that I was frustrated by something else that was going on in my life and I wasn't making "feeling good" my #1 priority. So, as a teacher of this stuff, I chose to pivot to a better feeling place, focus on what WAS working in my life and went on a rampage of appreciation for all the blessings in my life. YES, I deliberately and consciously shifted my mood to a positive place.

Then, the next day I woke up feeling really good. I looked in the mirror and what do you think I saw ... YEP, you got it ... a thinner ME! Now, this may sound a bit crazy as you are reading this, but it IS true! My self-image was 100% correlated with how I was feeling! I didn't exactly lose weight between the previous day and then. Nope. I just chose to reach for a better feeling place and make Happiness my #1 goal.

Being happy ... NO MATTER WHAT!

That's when the magic happens.

That's when the doors to our dreams start opening.

As a Happiness Coach, I teach this to my clients and at first it can be a foreign concept to them (especially if they are not familiar with the Law of Attraction and the movie The Secret). But once they grasp this concept and REALLY embrace it -- being deliberate creators of their life experiences, they are amazed at what unfolds in their lives.

Many people have that mentality of "I'll be happy when ...". You know, I'll be happy when I lose this excess weight. I'll be happy when I meet my ideal mate. I'll be happy when my business is successful. I'll be happy when I win the lottery.

But this is not the way it works. You are setting yourself up for some serious wave of unhappiness if you are waiting for something to happen BEFORE you are happy. You must CHOOSE happiness first. You must look within and find that place where you love you for who you are right now. It may sound difficult to do, but it doesn't have to be. You are the one who decides how you feel. You are the one who chooses your emotions. I know .. you never looked at it that way. You didn't realize that you are choosing to feel the way you do -- you just thought "I can't help myself". But you CAN help yourself. You CAN reach for a better feeling in this moment.

You CAN deliberately choose to raise your Happiness Level
which will improve your self image 100%!

When you are happy, no matter what, it's as if you are wearing a different pair of lenses to see the world. You look different to you. Your life looks different to you and everyone else around you looks different to you. You perceive life differently when you put on your "happy no matter what" glasses.

So, if you don't like what you see (whether it is in the mirror, in your life, or in the world), learn how to be happy (no matter what), and what you see will change right before your eyes.

Wishing you a Lovin' Life day!
~ Coach Maria


Tuesday, August 10, 2010

When the Doctor tells you to "Starve Yourself", Get a NEW Doctor!

I recently had my Mom call me and tell me that her doctor told her to "starve herself"! Yep, you heard me ... he said "STARVE YOURSELF!" Well, you can imagine my reaction to that. If I didn't live 3000 miles away, I would be coming with her the next time she visited him!

Now, let me give a little background as to why she went to the doctor in the first place. She had an infection on her leg that seemed to be getting worse (she has no idea where this infection came from). She had already been to ER and they had prescribed antibiotics for her. She was going to her regular doctor as a follow up and to find out why it was taking so long for the infection/redness to go away.

Her doctor, who is very laser-focused on "weight loss" told her that she needs to lose weight (something that he tells her every time she goes -- and to her credit she has lost weight -- just not as much as this doctor wants her too). Then he proceeded to tell her "even if you have to STARVE YOURSELF ..." What a ridiculous thing to say to a patient or anyone for that matter! (I wanted to use another word besides "ridiculous", but I am keeping it clean for this blog!)

He actually made my Mom cry! Now, here's a news flash to anyone who is reading this blog. If your doctor makes you cry and says something that doesn't feel good to you ... GET A NEW DOCTOR!

And here's a few points that I would like to make about this subject:

#1) Starving yourself isn't the answer to having a healthy & fit body. Anyone should know that!

#2) My Mom wasn't going to him for anything that is really related to the size of her body. An infection is an infection. Even if she lost 20 lbs in 1 week (which is not very realistic), the infection is most likely still going to be an issue! Hello!!!

#3) News flash to doctors who think that it is ONLY about what the person is eating that impacts their weight --- YOU'RE WRONG! Matter of fact, it's more about their emotional health and the type of movement they are adding into their every day life! Stop laser focusing on the food -- address the stress in this person's life. Ask them about how active they are. Find the emotional cause for their excess weight. Now, maybe that's not a Doctor's job, but refer the patient to someone like myself who can address the emotional connection and help the person to eliminate the stress in their life and add back more JOY into their life. STRESS plays a big part in being overweight. AND, here's another news flash ... why do think the diet industry is SO HUGE? Because DIETS don't work (hence the need for more fads and different eating regimes for people who are overweight to try)! This doctor wanted my Mom to cut out ALL CARBS because he believes in that "type" of diet. But really -- ALL CARBS -- isn't that where our energy comes from?! I am not a Nutritionist, but this doesn't sound like a sound plan to me!

So ... moral of my rant: If it doesn't feel good (even if a DOCTOR tells you it), then don't give it your attention. Don't give away your power to something that is not aligned with your JOY. Even experts are "off the mark" when it comes to knowing what's good for you.

You have to be selfish with the "professionals" and even friends that you put into your environment. Going to professionals (medical and non-medical) or hanging out with your "friends" has to "feel good". If it doesn't, why do it in the first place?

Trust your inner guidance. Use your negative emotions as an indicator that something needs to change in your life. Start embracing the belief that feeling JOY on a regular basis is what is going to bring you that healthier & fit body. You will be MOTIVATED, inspired and take action steps that will be aligned with Total Wellness!

When a doctor tells a patient to "starve herself" -- that is not motivating at all. Matter of fact, if you take what the doctor is telling you to heart, you are going to feel the exact opposite of motivated! My Mom was disgusted, frustrated, upset, discouraged & cried. That doesn't sound like "motivated" to me!

Luckily, my Mom has a Life Coach for a daughter! So, I gave her a bit of my Lovin' Life Mojo and after an hour talk with me, she was feeling much better!!! Whooooo hoooo for that!

To Your Happiness first, then your great health will follow!


Monday, August 09, 2010

When Weighing Yourself Sets the Mood for the Day!

You know what I am talking about. You get up in the morning and one of the first things you do is get on that scale. And most likely, you use that "number" to set your mood for the day! Admit it ... that number means something to you. It is a measure of how "good" you are doing with your weight loss. But it also can be very detrimental to your weight loss journey as well. And by the way, that number means "diddly squat"! It can fluctuate up and down and have absolutely NOTHING to do with whether you are becoming more healthy and fit! So keep that in mind next time you get on that scale.

Weighing Yourself and what you do with that number is a biggie when it comes to your success with losing weight!

You “keep score” every time you weigh yourself, don’t you?
Matter of fact, if you are under a Doctor’s guidance, that’s one of the first things they do when you step into their office.
Ok, let’s get on the scale. And then, that number is written in your charts and you judge yourself depending on what that number is.

Many people I work with have a love/hate relationship with the scale – is that you? Do you way yourself every day, multiple times in the day? Does the scale define how successful you are with your weight loss journey? Does it even set the mood for your day depending on what the number on that scale says?

Do you love it when it says you lost 5 pounds or 10 pounds and hate it when it says you lost nothing OR just 1 pound or god forbid it says you gained a pound or two (which, if you are gaining muscle mass may very well happen! Or this could just happen if you are holding water or it can depend on the time of day you choose to weigh yourself)

I know when I was on this weight loss journey that I had this type of relationship with the scale. That number that I read in the morning meant a LOT to me, until I had a personal trainer tell me to throw the damn scale out! Why? Because it was not serving me! I weighed myself a lot – I was obsessed with that damn number and I had this “ideal number” in my head – don’t even know where that number came from! The further I was from that, the worse I felt. The closer I was to it, the better I felt. Not a good dynamic to set up for yourself.

“Keeping score” (when it came to weighing myself) was not making me feel good many days – I wanted to see huge results – after all, I was working out and eating better and I wanted to see proof that I was succeeding at this goal. Some days were “better” than others.

But, if “keeping score” is going to make you feel bad (more often than not) as opposed to motivating you (no matter what the number says) then, you have to stop keeping score.

Remember … this weight loss journey is all about feeling good. From the place of feeling good, you will have an easier time to lose that excess weight. If you are discouraged, de-motivated, upset about what the scale says, how can you take healthy action steps from that place?

Why look at something that has the potential to throw your mood off if it’s not what you want to see?

And anyway, nothing outside of yourself (even if it is measuring your weight) should have any power over you and how you feel.

You choose joy. You are the one who is in charge of your emotions.

Now, if you are someone who has a LOVE/LOVE relationship with the scale and no matter what that number says you are in a rockin’ place and feel really good – then, keep on doing what you are doing!

This is a personal thing and you know what’s best for you and what makes you feel good. Only you know this.

So, KEEPING SCORE … let’s talk about all the things you can “keep score” on during this weight loss journey that would make you feel good.

Make a list of all the things that you feel are healthier steps for you that when you do them, you feel really good you took these healthy action steps.

For instance, let’s say you notice that when you drink more water during the course of the day, you feel better. Well, great – start turning this into a game. Keep score of how many bottles or glasses of water you drank that day. Make a chart. Write it down. If that is something that you equate with getting healthier, then keep score of that and watch your progress. Now, don’t beat up on yourself if one day you have one less glass of water – big whoops – so what? The whole point of this “keeping score game” is so that you have something to keep score on that makes you feel good – it’s something that says to you “I’m making progress” “I’m taking action steps” – it’s affirming that you ARE on your way to a healthier body. You are celebrating the baby steps, which when you think of it are extremely important. After all, you don’t get to the top of the mountain by taking one big leap – it’s one step at a time!

So, what else can you take score of that will make you feel good, make you feel like you are on a healthier path?
Brainstorm this right now.

Make a list of all the things you feel that would be healthier action steps you could take. Now, look them over and see which ones resonate the most with you. Ones that you feel inclined to do and would enjoy keeping score on them.

I keep track on my calendar of how many times I walk each week. I mark it down on my computerized calendar and love to take a look at the end of the month and see how many times I took my 4-mile walk. It’s quite empowering to see. It feels good.

What else could you keep score on that will make you feel good (yes, there is a theme here – it’s all about feeling good – are you getting that point)?

Here are a few ideas, but they must come from you. I don’t recommend any of them in particular, but these are some examples of things my clients have kept score of that made them feel empowered and it affirmed to them that they were on their way to that ideal weight!

1) How many times you took the steps instead of the elevator?
2) How many times per week you had ate more fruit?
3) How many calories you ate during the course of the day – I had one person who loved doing this in an excel spreadsheet and seeing how good he was doing – now, this is not something that feels good to me – I don’t want to be counting any calories, however, this is not about me – this is about you and what will work for you!
4) How many times you go to the gym
5) How often you meditate or visualize your success
6) Getting massages and keeping score of how many times you are treating yourself like royalty. Don’t underestimate the power of that! This is a BIGGIE! Be kind to YOU. Shower yourself with oodles of love. Self love is one of the best action steps you can take to manifesting a healthy and fit body!

The list can go on…

Just remember that this is all about keeping score on things that you believe will make you healthier, things that you will enjoy doing (not shoulds) and things that would make you feel really good to keep score on.

And if keeping score isn’t your thing … then don’t do it.

But I do know that you need to turn your focus on what IS working, what you ARE doing to get fit – you must focus on the progress you are making, even if you are not taking score – you need to “see” the shifts and remind yourself that you are doing well.

Don’t judge the baby steps as “not enough” – celebrate them. Because the more you celebrate, the more you will have to celebrate in the future. You know what I mean?

Yes, I am referring to the Law of Attraction again … what you concentrate on ... expands. Like attracts like.

If you focus more on that you are NOT THERE YET and that you have so much further to go, that weight loss goal of yours will stay out there ... in the distant future.

Bring it closer to home; notice (keep score) of what you are doing that you deem as healthier. Feel good about it. Feel good about you!

You are making progress. You are on a new path.

Celebrate these new tools you have to help you lose weight and reset your mindset. Now that's something to keep score of!


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