Saturday, April 23, 2005

Nasty People

Yes, I said it. There are some people out there that can be very nasty and rude. I have come across a few people like this in my lifetime. Sometimes dealing with people that are NOT very nice can be very frustrating. What I have learned is that they only frustrate you if you allow them to. Everybody has their own "stuff" that they are dealing with. You don't know what other people's baggage truly is. What you give out, you get back. What goes around, comes around. That's the philosophy I live by. I do one of two things when I encounter people that have a nasty disposition: Either I don't deal with them at all and act neutral to them OR I deal with them in a very professional manner and then move on (and let go of their negative energy by not thinking about them or talking about them later).

People can be toxic. So why waste your life energy around people like this? If you have to deal with people like this in your life (e.g., your boss or a relative/friend), then change the way you deal with them. You can't change them -- you can only change what you say and how you act in front of them. Sometimes, if you have a REALLY TOXIC PERSON in your life, you may have to re-evaluate how often you see them or speak to them. Negative energy is contagious (just like positive energy is!). So surround yourself by people who love you, smile at you, give you a warm, comfortable, supportive and energizing feeling. The people you 'hang out' with (and how you respond to them) have just as much of an impact on your physical health and well-being as the food you consume and the lifestyle you choose to live!


Monday, April 18, 2005


My family, friends, work associates & acquaintances have always told me that I exude a great deal of confidence. My coaching clients have told me that as a result of working with me, their self-confidence has improved a great deal. Where would you put yourself on the Confidence scale? (0= No Self-Confidence to 10 = Extremely Self Confident)?

Here's a little summary on confidence from a book by Norman Vincent Peale:

"I demonstrate CONFIDENCE each time I...

* Do not let mistakes or failures erode my self image
* Do not fear being measured against others' expectations.
* Act with easy coolness and freedom from uncertainty and embarrassment.
* Act decisively
* Hold nothing back in my quest for what is desired.
* Believe I have the knowledge, intuition, abilities, and know-how to competently
complete projects.
* Use positive words of expectation in conversations.
* Am quick to volunteer ideas and suggestions."

These are some of the behaviors that people exhibit when they are confident and believe in themselves. I think that the confidence and belief I have in myself is one of the key reasons that I enjoy life immensely. Have I ever second-guessed some of my decisions? Of course I have... for a split second! But I always believe in ME and know that everything I choose to do and what happens after that happens for a reason. I believe that I can do ANYTHING if I set my mind to it and if I really want it to happen. I live my life on my own terms NOT what other people expect of me. This is MY life and I want you to know that your confidence in yourself and the belief that you can overcome any challenge you are facing are the significant pieces to the formula for Lovin' Life! What you believe about yourself and your life STRONGLY influences how you experience your life.

Why do my clients say that their confidence soars after working with me? Because I believe in them AND I allow them the space to believe in themselves... to envision their life exactly as they want it to be and to hold that vision and make it more of a reality with each day that passes. I help them to recognize their limiting beliefs and to start re-writing the story they tell themselves about what they can do and what is possible!

Start believing in yourself and your abilities to overcome any challenge you are facing. Begin to demonstrate some of the behaviors above so that you too can build your confidence and improve the way you experience your life. Your self confidence and belief in YOU will play a significant role in improving your overall health and well-being!


Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Handling the Daily Frustrations

Have you ever been annoyed by attempting to get an answer by calling customer service? You know… where you keep on getting a bunch of automated messages and you just want to speak to a REAL person and get your answer!

Have you ever experienced a frustration with your computer where it just decides to freeze in the middle of typing up an important document (and you lose what you were working on!)?

Or maybe it’s that massive amount of spam that you get in your inbox that frustrates you (and no matter what you do to block it … it keeps on coming!)

Yes, all of the above are some of the daily frustrations that I deal with. They are minor in the bigger scheme of things, but they sure can be annoying when you are dealing with them in the present moment.

I recently was following up on an unpaid invoice that I submitted to a big corporate company 2 months ago. On one side of the company, they said that they sent it to Accounts Payable and that it was “out of their hands”. They recommended that I follow up with Accounts Payable. Then I contacted Accounts Payable and they said that they had no record of the invoice and that I would have to send it again. Then, I got different answers from different people as to where to send the invoice. Then, I sent it next day and find out a few days later that if it’s sent next day, it is handled in a different manner due to 9/11 and that this will slow the process down. Why didn't someone tell me that in the first place? Why can’t you get the same answer each time you speak to a different person? I don’t get it. Then, when I was asking to speak to a supervisor, the person put me on hold and I waited and waited and waited and then GOT DISCONNECTED. Sound familiar?

Here’s what I do to keep myself focused, centered and calm when these small frustrations occur:

- I take a deep breath and then blow out all the frustration. This really works for me!
- I ask myself the question “Will this matter 1 year from now?” I always answer “NO”.
That puts things in perspective for me.
- I am always polite and professional with any customer service person I deal with because
my view is that “you get what you give out”. If you are nasty, you will get nasty back!
- I always back up my computer and save things frequently while I am editing so that I
don’t lose too much if my computer decides to do it’s own thing.
- I remind myself that these are just small frustrations that I can choose to respond
differently to and that they do not have much of a meaning in the bigger picture of life.
- I think about the things I am grateful for in my life and the things that are working very well.

"If we make the small things big in our mind, they will become bigger than they really are." ~ Maria Lesetz


Thursday, April 07, 2005

The Attitude you have has NOTHING to do with the Type of Multiple Sclerosis you have!

As you already know, Multiple Sclerosis is an unpredictable neurological disease. It does not have any set, exact pattern of how it is going to progress in a particular person's body. I speak to many people with MS in all different stages of the disease. What I find fascinating is that the person's attitude is NOT necessarily correlated with the type of MS they have (or the type of symptoms and physical limitations that they are experiencing). I have spoken to quite a few people that are in a wheelchair and are limited physically in their movement BUT have the best attitude in the room! I find these people very inspirational. There are many people like that out there (not just the ones that have MS) and those are the people that I learn from -- the ones that are experiencing far bigger challenges than I am BUT are still living their life to its fullest and have a smile on their face. They are Lovin' Life!

The question is ... what is it about them that allows them to still enjoy life even though they are experiencing great health & physical challenges? I think that a person's attitude is everything. There are so many inspirational stories out there of people that are surviving and thriving through some of life's biggest challenges. That's why I put together a list of those types of people at my website under Inspirational Stories. So that they can inspire YOU as well! You can visit this webpage at . These are people that I look at and learn from. I am always inspired by people like this and say to myself "Wow, if they can overcome that, then I can overcome this! I can do ANYTHING!" We all have a strength and courage inside of us that can get us through the toughest times in our lives! I do, you do, and your family and friends do.

Just remember, that the size of your life challenge is not related to YOUR ATTITUDE towards it! You can choose a different attitude towards your life no matter what the challenge you are facing. Just look at the people that do this already. They are no different than you or me. They are just making different choices in their lives and choosing to experience their life in a positive light.


Friday, April 01, 2005

Staying Calm when Feeling Overwhelmed

I just completed doing a massive upgrade to my website and yes, there was a point there where I was extremely overwhelmed, working non-stop for many weeks. I am an intense worker and when I am determined to complete something, there is no stopping me. However, I can still reach the point of overwhelm, too! And I sure did! By the end of the completion of the upgrade, my brain had reached "saturation point".

What I found helpful was to
1) recognize that I was in this state of overwhelm
2) do something that was going to clear my head and bring me back to a centered place of calm and relaxed. For me, that was taking a walk by the river (even if it was just 1 hour, it was still a welcomed break!) .
3) listen to someone close to me when they told me that I needed to take a break. Sometimes the people around us can see if we are feeling overwhelmed before we actually know we are overwhelmed. It was a good reminder for me to stop, take a breath and take some quality, fun-time for me! Which I did!
4) not let any small irritations or issues get in the way of the bigger picture of what I was trying to accomplish.

"It isn't worth it to spend $1,000 worth of emotion on a five cent irritation." - Quote by Dr. Norman Vincent Peale


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