Saturday, April 23, 2005

Nasty People

Yes, I said it. There are some people out there that can be very nasty and rude. I have come across a few people like this in my lifetime. Sometimes dealing with people that are NOT very nice can be very frustrating. What I have learned is that they only frustrate you if you allow them to. Everybody has their own "stuff" that they are dealing with. You don't know what other people's baggage truly is. What you give out, you get back. What goes around, comes around. That's the philosophy I live by. I do one of two things when I encounter people that have a nasty disposition: Either I don't deal with them at all and act neutral to them OR I deal with them in a very professional manner and then move on (and let go of their negative energy by not thinking about them or talking about them later).

People can be toxic. So why waste your life energy around people like this? If you have to deal with people like this in your life (e.g., your boss or a relative/friend), then change the way you deal with them. You can't change them -- you can only change what you say and how you act in front of them. Sometimes, if you have a REALLY TOXIC PERSON in your life, you may have to re-evaluate how often you see them or speak to them. Negative energy is contagious (just like positive energy is!). So surround yourself by people who love you, smile at you, give you a warm, comfortable, supportive and energizing feeling. The people you 'hang out' with (and how you respond to them) have just as much of an impact on your physical health and well-being as the food you consume and the lifestyle you choose to live!


Retail Owner,  7:03 PM  

I just moved my retail shop next to one of the most nastiest people I have ever seen.
1st..not welcome but "you sweep your half of the carpet out front (common entrance we share) and I'll sweep mine." My response was I'll be happy to sweep yours and mine and you don't have to sweep mine. one is to linger outside here. I've been in business now 20 years. Thanked her for sharing that info.
3rd..she came storming in my shop.."I sell that bear, you cannot sell that bear". I noticed she has a brown one in her window, mine is black. I told her once that one is gone I plan to not order anymore. She said "you have to sell at same price as mine" I told her no problem. I suggested that I'd sell her mine for the wholesale price I paid for it. Her comment was (get this) "No, I can't get rid of this one".
4th...she comes in and says I'm not allowed to be friends with her employees. She stated that employees of hers have lost their jobs because of this. I asked her what brought this on and she just stated that people cannot be friends with her employees or it will jepordize their jobs.
I asked if there were any other bizzare things I should be aware of and she walked away.
I had another shop owner say one day she called her store and said she was laughing too loud.
This is a lady I would like to get along with (only because we share the same common entrance and are next door to one another)and not hate or pitty.
Any suggestions????

Maria Lesetz 7:03 PM  

Dear Retail Owner:

Many of my coaching clients have shared experiences like this with me when dealing with these type of people. One of the things that I share with them is how to shift their vibration around the situation so that they get what they truly want to happen.

The best thing you can do is to give your attention, energy and focus to what you DO WANT in this particular situation. Start with writing down all the things that you don't want or don't like about your fellow reatil shop owner. Then next to each one, turn it around and write down the exact opposite -- what you DO WANT (e.g., what are the qualities you would like to see in the person next door to you; how would you like them to interact with you and others, etc.)

Of course, then you have to start giving your "ideal situation" some attention and focus --- envision having the perfect person to share your front entrance with -- what would that look like.

There is more to relate and many suggestions that I do have. I would be happy to give you a half-hour consultation around this issue to help you even further (visit and click on the side under the Bump Ahead sign).

Just remember ... we can teach people how to treat us AND we can alter our situation just by our thoughts and feelings about it. What we give our attention, energy and focus to will expand. It's true.

Looking forward to hearing from you. Good luck!

Warmest Regards,
Maria C. Lesetz
Certified Life Coach

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